Stella Damasus Writes ... "I Was Born To Be Talked About " [A MUST READ]

This is an article which Nollywood actress Stella Damasus posted on her personal blog. In it she says "I was Born to be Talked About"

hehe.. nice write up I must say. Stella tries. But is it me, or are her write-ups always defensive? I think she should just live her life and stop fighting bloggers and media houses. 

Like they say, a clear conscience fears no accusation. 

The continual write-up on self and family makes her reek of guilt (my opinion).

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading the piece and I learnt a lot from it. From the three types of people in this world (according to her mum), I too was born to be talked about **smiles**

And to the main points/questions in the essay, yeah I know my purpose on earth, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing at this time in my life, I'm satisfied at how far God has brought me although I'm aiming higher, Hell yeah, I'm doing what I've always wanted to do, I'm adding value to people around me EVERYDAY!, I'm taking THIS to the next level, God helping me... Need I continue? 

I'm happy!

Are you? Do you know your purpose on earth... READ her article below and ask yourselves these questions... 

Stella:

"Sometimes I sit down and try to take stock of my life and its numerous stages. 

It amazes me to see how far I have come even in the midst of the storm. God is indeed faithful to those who love and serve him.

Growing up was a bit funny for me outside the walls of my home. I grew up in a wonderfully balanced family with a lot of love and care from both my parents who were bankers, my older sisters who taught me so much and even my late kid brother even though his time was short.

For some reason I thought there was something wrong with me and I will tell you why.

I realized that, in school my name always came up whether or not I was a part of the issue. People just loved to talk about me, most of the time it was more negative than positive. Even if I was not guilty of whatever they accused me of, they would still go on and on.

This was such a huge problem to me as a young girl, to the point that I was not able to enjoy boarding school. I thought the world hated me and i did not fit in, and that was when I heard that people called me an "OSU", which means OUTCAST, just because of my surname.

That actually made me laugh at the end of the day seeing that most people did not even know the origin or history of my name.

After so many years of being paranoid about what people were saying about me, I finally opened up to my parents. My mother laughed so hard that I wondered if she heard a word of what I said.

That was when my father (God rest his soul) looked at me and said "have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror? Have you not noticed how beautiful you are, or are you saying you do not know you are intelligent"? 

At that point I just felt it was a normal encouragement line that a parent would give his child to make them feel better, but I soon realized it was far from it. 

Then he said "can't you see that you are different because you are special? Do you need anyone to tell you how blessed you are?

My mother called me and said "there are three types of people in this world

A: those who were born to be talked about because of who they are

B: those who were born to talk about others because that is all they are

C: those who were born to observe because they don't know who they are

Which one would you rather be my dear?"

I smiled because I knew that I was a TYPE A.This is how I see it;

God the creator sets a mini clock on every human being, he opens his big shopping mall which is the earth. Then he gives us all a shopping list to go into the shopping mall and buy everything on our list.

He also sets the clock to a time which he knows should be enough for us to finish our shopping. Bear in mind that everybody has a different list, and from the moment he hands you the money (talent, skills, health, wisdom, brain, etc) and your list, your own clock starts to count.

So imagine that we have all come to this shopping mall, you see Stella walking in and out of shops buying the things on her list. Then you stop and start to laugh at her ugly shoes, you call your friends and start to talk about the old fashioned chair she bought. Stella walks past you again and you start to laugh at her cheap weavon and the fact that there is too much blue in her eye shadow.

In all of this you are so caught up in your psycho analysis and gossip about Stella, that you forget that your clock is still ticking away. Meanwhile the person you are talking about is trying her possible best to buy everything on her shopping list, and make it back home early before she runs out of time.

This is what will happen; Stella will finish buying the items in her list, and go home right on time. On the flip side, you who have wasted more than half your own time following someone around, so eventually, you will not be able to finish buying the things on your list before the shop closes and your time is up.

A lot of people have filled up the graves with DEAD DREAMS and VISIONS. They spend the life span and energy God has given them for their own purpose on others and waste time minding other people's business.

It is so sad and painful but most importantly it does not make sense to me especially for adults.

Some people say it is as a result of joblessness but I disagree. I insist that if you have time to talk about others, then you should have time to try and discover yourself, spend time knowing who you are.

What is your purpose on earth?

What are you supposed to be doing at this point in your life?

Are you Satisfied with where you are right now?

Are you doing what you have always wanted to do?

Are you adding value to people around you?

Are you ready to take your situation to the next level?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What are your ambitions?

Have you accomplished up to half the things you set for yourself?

Trust me if you spend your time trying to answer all these questions and work on them, you will find that you won't have time for idle talk, you will also realize that you don't have enough hours in a day to do the things you really want to do especially the things that you love.

I know who I am and I have no apologies for it. So I hope you will make it out of the shopping mall at the right time with your items complete.

Exclusive: Stella Damasus' Daughter Makes Her Nollywood Debut [PHOTOS]

Wow, I never knew Stella had such a pretty daughter oh. Should I say like mother like daughter? She is so pretty!

Stella's beautiful daughter has made her entrance into Nollywood in a movie shot in New York. 

Mother and daughter acted together in the first episode of the new web series, titled 'Mixmatch' which was produced by Daniel Ademonikan. 

See more photos of production...

Nollywood Actress Stella Damasus Advises Women on How to Keep Their Man [READ]

She writes: 

Anyway let me go to the topic I want to discuss today "keeping your man".This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls.

Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.

I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.

Anyway our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we know it is wrong. The first few years of marriage is filled with sex almost five times a day in different parts of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years we start to back down, we start to make excuses, we start to see it as a chore and then we let them know that we are really not interested in them physically.

Wow, what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married to?

What happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and immediately comply?

What happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready wife who would make him feel wanted?

I know that most of you will say "I have kids who wear me out, I have work that drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a headache" to the point that the man will need to get a visa at your "embassy" to visit his favorite place in the World.

When you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?

How would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the plumber, your child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a hard time?

NOOOOOOO please.

At that point he wants you to take him to that special place were the sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to the point that all you say will sound like sweet music to his ears.

These men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of which you don't even know because they are trying to save you from all the stress.

What annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag about the men not having time for us, and how they no longer find us attractive anymore and that's where the suspicion starts. That's when the saying comes, "if he is not getting it from me someone else must be giving it to him".

I don't encourage cheating at all in fact it goes against what the bible teaches no matter what. I will not also judge anyone who has been caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or the other. I believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God with the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.

In all of this I know that all men are not beasts, neither are they evil because we married them. I also know that men do not get married and carry it at the back of their minds that they must cheat. That's not how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger things in their brains and these things drive them to do things that they really would not have done. Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ because they know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can have a brain that will control the whole body. There is always something that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis.

You may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe. Most men we married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but cast your mind back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if there were traces of that character or not.

What men want: 

- They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.

- They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.

- They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.

- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.

- They don't want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.

- They like their space and alone time.

- They don't want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after they got married. 

Why should she try and look the same? She is married now, who else does she have to impress? WRONG! Men are first of all moved by what they see before anything else. So when they can't see that anymore or at least an effort to getting back that body that turned them on, they'll probably lose interest in you and find someone else.

- They don't want to come and hug you after work with you smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume.

- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.

- They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you

- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.

- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.

- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.

- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.

- They don't want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.

- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

There are so many things I can add and you will not stop reading so let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do at least 60% of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will cross his path and that is exactly how the enemy works. When that younger and more energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end. This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home to you will become a chore. These girls can give him all these things and even more that the men find it so difficult to resist. All the money that was supposed to go to you and your children will find their way to her pocket. They can get anything they want from your man because they know the secret to getting and keeping him.

I know that this article will cause a lot of controversial wahala but it is fine because in life people don't like to hear the truth. This might also be an opportunity for people to make silly comments but the truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of people who will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.

Ladies on a more serious note, if you are guilty of these crimes and are depriving your husband of what is rightfully his then don't be shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.

I will let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be on my YouTube channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom you need to keep it together.

Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don't. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.

Take care of yourselves and remember that I love you all. 

******

Ermm, okay to the "controversial wahala" part. Of course, it would spark some controversy because of her status in the society. 

1. She's neither married nor un-married.

2. She's currently in a relationship with a yet-to-be-divorced movie maker

I could go on and on but... 

Let me allow you guys be the judge. 

Considering her social/relationship status, what do you think about this write-up? 

With lines like "This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls" and "So how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we know it is wrong", I can't help but be confused about what she really stands for.

In my opinion though, there's a lot more to the Stella-Daniel-Doris circle. I'll be sure to bring the full gist if an when it blows up!